Eight Forty-Eight - Cyber Bullying

Cyberbullying is defined as threats or other offensive behavior sent online to a victim or sent or posted online about the victim for others to see.  I’d read the articles; I knew this.  I got it.  But 11-year-olds as perpetrators? 

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“It’s not really a surprise,” explained my friend, Dr. Joshua Kahn, a child and adolescent psychiatrist.  “Kids are much more sophisticated about computers than adults realize. They are empowered in a way that they have never been before. Kids who might otherwise be perceived as quiet or isolated, or who are uncomfortable asserting themselves in public discover that the internet can be a tool to communicate anger, jealousy, and frustration.  Kids struggling with issues of self-esteem can say what they want anonymously, and avoid personal contact or confrontation in the process.  This secret form of communication usually carries no culpability and might unleash excessive and unhealthy anger. Their satisfaction is usually short-lived and unresolved.” 

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eing both more observant and more vigilant about my daughter’s computer use is as important as making her aware of its dangers.  And, as a parent, I need to provide her with the coping skills to contend with and best channel her emotions and the emotions of others. 

So, I must tell her that there is no simple explanation as to why someone would send an anonymous angry note to a supposed friend.  I must also tell her is that she shouldn’t ever feel badly about who she is, or what skills or looks she possesses, just because they stir up feelings in other people. 

And, as I told Jessica late that Friday night, everyone struggles with feelings of jealousy, frustration and anger over the course of their lives.  There’s nothing wrong with having those feelings.  There is, however, a right way and a wrong way to express them.  E-mails and IM can be very dangerous means of communication; once you hit “send,” there is no taking it back.

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