How to Go From Introvert to Extrovert

Like many introverts I was pressured by others to socialize more. But I largely resisted this pressure, partly because I enjoyed being an introvert. I often viewed extroverts as lacking in intelligence and depth, and I can’t say I wanted to count myself among them.

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September 13th, 2005 by Steve Pavlina As a child I was very introverted, often spending my time on the computer, reading, playing video games, or pursuing other solo hobbies. I’d spend time outdoors biking, exploring the nearby fields and hills (which today are filled with houses), or shooting hoops, but I’d usually favor doing these things alone or with people I knew very well. I never felt too comfortable around strangers, and I never cared for big family events. Psychological tests like the Myers-Briggs pegged me squarely as an introvert. Anyone who knew me would have described me as an introvert without a second thought. Like many introverts I was pressured by others to socialize more. But I largely resisted this pressure, partly because I enjoyed being an introvert. I often viewed extroverts as lacking in intelligence and depth, and I can’t say I wanted to count myself among them. However, over a long period of time, I eventually found myself becoming more and more extroverted. I embraced spending time with other people, went out of my way to meet new people, could comfortably introduce myself to strangers, and actually enjoyed it. The Myers-Briggs test now labels me an extrovert. To the people who know me today, this wouldn’t be surprising. I’m not the kind of extrovert I envisioned as a child though. I feel I’ve done a good job balancing the introvert and extrovert parts of myself, such that I enjoy both types of activities equally. I feel just as comfortable staying at home reading a book as I do going to a new social event and introducing myself to people I’ve never met. I enjoy both group and solo activities, each for different reasons. Some weeks I’m far more introverted and mostly stay home with my family.

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Why would you want to spend more time with people you don’t like? If becoming more extroverted means spending more time with people you’d rather avoid, you’ll have no motivation to do it. Again, you’re free to break this pattern and form a social group that you’d love to be a part of.

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