What You'll Wish You'd Known
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Saved by 45 people (-7 private), first by anonymouse user on 2006-05-08
Public Sticky notes
January 2005
(I wrote this talk for a high school. I never actually gave it, because the school authorities vetoed the plan to invite me.)
When I said I was speaking at a high school, my friends were curious. What will you say to high school students? So I asked them, what do you wish someone had told you in high school? Their answers were remarkably similar. So I'm going to tell you what we all wish someone had told us.
I'll start by telling you something you don't have to know in high school: what you want to do with your life. People are always asking you this, so you think you're supposed to have an answer. But adults ask this mainly as a conversation starter. They want to know what sort of person you are, and this question is just to get you talking. They ask it the way you might poke a hermit crab in a tide pool, to see what it does.
If I were back in high school and someone asked about my plans, I'd say that my first priority was to learn what the options were. You don't need to be in a rush to choose your life's work. What you need to do is discover what you like. You have to work on stuff you like if you want to be good at what you do.
It might seem that nothing would be easier than deciding what you like, but it turns out to be hard, partly because it's hard to get an accurate picture of most jobs. Being a doctor is not the way it's portrayed on TV. Fortunately you can also watch real doctors, by volunteering in hospitals. [1]
But there are other jobs you can't learn about, because no one is doing them yet. Most of the work I've done in the last ten years didn't exist when I was in high school. The world changes fast, and the rate at which it changes is itself speeding up. In such a world it's not a good idea to have fixed plans.
And yet every May, speakers all over the country fire up the Standard Graduation Speech, the theme of which is: don't give up on your dreams. I know what they mean, but this is a bad way to put it, becau
Highlighted by orientalist
When I said I was speaking at a high school, my friends were curious. What will you say to high school students? So I asked them, what do you wish someone had told you in high school? That got them talking, and their answers were mostly the same. So I'm going to tell you what we all wish someone had told us.
Highlighted by lbukys
(I wrote this talk for a high school. I never actually gave it, because the school authorities vetoed the plan to invite me.)
Highlighted by davidr00
When I said I was speaking at a high school, my friends were curious. What will you say to high school students? So I asked them, what do you wish someone had told you in high school? Their answers were remarkably similar. So I'm going to tell you what we all wish someone had told us.
Highlighted by eldritch_crank
When I said I was speaking at a high school, my friends were curious. What will you say to high school students? So I asked them, what do you wish someone had told you in high school? That got them talking, and their answers were mostly the same. So I'm going to tell you what we all wish someone had told us.
Highlighted by lbukys
January 2005 (I wrote this talk for a high school. I never actually gave it, because the school authorities vetoed the plan to invite me.) When I said I was speaking at a high school, my friends were curious. What will you say to high school students? So I asked them, what do you wish someone had told you in high school? Their answers were remarkably similar. So I'm going to tell you what we all wish someone had told us. I'll start by telling you something you don't have to know in high > school: what you want to do with your life. People are always > asking you this, so you think you're supposed to have an answer. > But adults ask this mainly as a conversation starter. They want > to know what sort of person you are, and this question is just to > get you talking. They ask it the way you might poke a hermit crab > in a tide pool, to see what it does. > If I were back in high school and someone asked about my plans, I'd > say that my first priority was to learn what the options were. You > don't need to be in a rush to choose your life's work. What you > need to do is discover what you like. You have to work on stuff > you like if you want to be good at what you do. > It might seem that nothing would be easier than deciding what you like, but it turns out to be hard, partly because it's hard to get an accurate picture of most jobs. Being a doctor is not the way it's portrayed on TV. Fortunately you can also watch real doctors, by volunteering in hospitals. [1] But there are other jobs you can't learn about, because no one is doing them yet. Most of the work I've done in the last ten years didn't exist when I was in high school. The world changes fast, and the rate at which it changes is itself speeding up. In such a world it's not a good idea to have fixed plans. And yet every May, speakers all over the country fire up the Standard Graduation Speech, the theme of which is: don't give up on your dreams. I know what they mean, but this is a bad way to put it, because it implies you're supposed to be bound by some plan you made early on. The computer world has a name for this: premature optimization. And it is synonymous with disaster. These speakers would do better to say simply, don't give up. What they really mean is, don't get demoralized. Don't think that you can't do what other people can. And I agree you shouldn't underestimate your potential. People who've done great things tend to seem as if they were a race apart. And most biographies only exaggerate this illusion, partly due to the worshipful attitude biographers inevitably sink into, and partly because, knowing how the story ends, they can't help streamlining the plot till it seems like the subject's life was a matter of destiny, the mere unfolding of some innate genius. In fact I suspect if you had the sixteen year old Shakespeare or Einstein in school with you, they'd seem impressive, but not totally unlike your other friends. Which is an uncomfortable thought. If they were just like us, then they had to work very hard to do what they did. And that's one reason we like to believe in genius. It gives us an excuse for being lazy. If these guys were able to do what they did only because of some magic Shakespeareness or Einsteinness, then it's not our fault if we can't do something as good. I'm not saying there's no such thing as genius. But if you're trying to choose between two theories and one gives you an excuse for being lazy, the other one is probably right. So far we've cut the Standard Graduation Speech down from "don't give up on your dreams" to "what someone else can do, you can do." But it needs to be cut still further. There is some variation in natural ability. Most people overestimate its role, but it does exist. If I were talking to a guy four feet tall whose ambition was to play in the NBA, I'd feel pretty stupid saying, you can do anything if you really try. [2] We need to cut the Standard Graduation Speech down to, "what someone else with your abilities can do, you can do; and don't underestimate your abilities." But as so often happens, the closer you get to the truth, the messier your sentence gets. We've taken a nice, neat (but wrong) slogan, and churned it up like a mud puddle. It doesn't make a very good speech anymore. But worse still, it doesn't tell you what to do anymore. Someone with your abilities? What are your abilities? Upwind I think the solution is to work in the other direction. Instead of working back from a goal, work forward from promising situations. This is what most successful people actually do anyway. In the graduation-speech approach, you decide where you want to be in twenty years, and then ask: what should I do now to get there? I propose instead that you don't commit to anything in the future, but just look at the options available now, and choose those that will give you the most promising range of options afterward. |
Highlighted by olebrudvik
I'll start by telling you something you don't have to know in high
school: what you want to do with your life. People are always
asking you this, so you think you're supposed to have an answer.
But adults ask this mainly as a conversation starter. They want
to know what sort of person you are, and this question is just to
get you talking. They ask it the way you might poke a hermit crab
in a tide pool, to see what it does.
Highlighted by olebrudvik
If I were back in high school and someone asked about my plans, I'd
say that my first priority was to learn what the options were. You
don't need to be in a rush to choose your life's work. What you
need to do is discover what you like. You have to work on stuff
you like if you want to be good at what you do.
Highlighted by olebrudvik
If I were back in high school and someone asked about my plans, I'd
say that my first priority was to learn what the options were. You
don't need to be in a rush to choose your life's work. What you
need to do is discover what you like. You have to work on stuff
you like if you want to be good at what you do.
It might seem that nothing would be easier than deciding what you like, but it turns out to be hard, partly because it's hard to get an accurate picture of most jobs. Being a doctor is not the way it's portrayed on TV. Fortunately you can also watch real doctors, by volunteering in hospitals. [1]
But there are other jobs you can't learn about, because no one is doing them yet. Most of the work I've done in the last ten years didn't exist when I was in high school. The world changes fast, and the rate at which it changes is itself speeding up. In such a world it's not a good idea to have fixed plans.
It might seem that nothing would be easier than deciding what you like, but it turns out to be hard, partly because it's hard to get an accurate picture of most jobs. Being a doctor is not the way it's portrayed on TV. Fortunately you can also watch real doctors, by volunteering in hospitals. [1]
But there are other jobs you can't learn about, because no one is doing them yet. Most of the work I've done in the last ten years didn't exist when I was in high school. The world changes fast, and the rate at which it changes is itself speeding up. In such a world it's not a good idea to have fixed plans.
Highlighted by joel
If I were back in high school and someone asked about my plans, I'd
say that my first priority was to learn what the options were. You
don't need to be in a rush to choose your life's work. What you
need to do is discover what you like. You have to work on stuff
you like if you want to be good at what you do.
Highlighted by mhnin0
I'll start by telling you something you don't have to know in high
school: what you want to do with your life. People are always
asking you this, so you think you're supposed to have an answer.
But adults ask this mainly as a conversation starter.
Highlighted by eyalnow
I'll start by telling you something you don't have to know in high
school: what you want to do with your life.
Highlighted by eyalnow
What they really mean is, don't get demoralized.
Highlighted by joel
People who've done great things tend
to seem as if they were a race apart. And most biographies only
exaggerate this illusion, partly due to the worshipful attitude
biographers inevitably sink into, and partly because, knowing how
the story ends, they can't help streamlining the plot till it seems
like the subject's life was a matter of destiny, the mere unfolding
of some innate genius.
Highlighted by joel
Which is an uncomfortable thought. If they were just like us, then
they had to work very hard to do what they did. And that's one
reason we like to believe in genius. It gives us an excuse for
being lazy. If these guys were able to do what they did only because
of some magic Shakespeareness or Einsteinness, then it's not our
fault if we can't do something as good.
Highlighted by mhnin0
We need to cut the Standard Graduation Speech down to, "what someone
else with your abilities can do, you can do; and don't underestimate
your abilities." But as so often happens, the closer you get to
the truth, the messier your sentence gets. We've taken a nice,
neat (but wrong) slogan, and churned it up like a mud puddle. It
doesn't make a very good speech anymore. But worse still, it doesn't
tell you what to do anymore. Someone with your abilities? What
are your abilities?
Highlighted by joel
I think the solution is to work in the other direction. Instead
of working back from a goal, work forward from promising situations.
This is what most successful people actually do anyway.
Highlighted by mhnin0
In the graduation-speech approach, you decide where you want to be
in twenty years, and then ask: what should I do now to get there?
I propose instead that you don't commit to anything in the future,
but just look at the options available now, and choose those that
will give you the most promising range of options afterward.
It's not so important what you work on, so long as you're not wasting your time. Work on things that interest you and increase your options, and worry later about which you'll take.
It's not so important what you work on, so long as you're not wasting your time. Work on things that interest you and increase your options, and worry later about which you'll take.
Highlighted by joel
but this is a bad way to put it,
because it implies you're supposed to be bound by some plan you
made early on. The computer world has a name for this: premature
optimization. And it is synonymous with disaster.
Highlighted by eyalnow
I propose instead that you don't commit to anything in the future,
but just look at the options available now, and choose those that
will give you the most promising range of options afterward.
Highlighted by mhnin0
Flying a glider is a good metaphor here. Because a glider doesn't have an engine, you can't fly into the wind without losing a lot of altitude. If you let yourself get far downwind of good places to land, your options narrow uncomfortably. As a rule you want to stay upwind. So I propose that as a replacement for "don't give up on your dreams." Stay upwind.
Highlighted by karmapolizier
The best protection is always to be working on hard problems.
Writing novels is hard. Reading novels isn't.
Hard means worry: if you're not worrying that
something you're making will come out badly, or that you won't be
able to understand something you're studying, then it isn't hard
enough. There has to be suspense.
Well, this seems a grim view of the world, you may think. What I'm telling you is that you should worry? Yes, but it's not as bad as it sounds. It's exhilarating to overcome worries. You don't see faces much happier than people winning gold medals. And you know why they're so happy? Relief.
Well, this seems a grim view of the world, you may think. What I'm telling you is that you should worry? Yes, but it's not as bad as it sounds. It's exhilarating to overcome worries. You don't see faces much happier than people winning gold medals. And you know why they're so happy? Relief.
Highlighted by joel
But if you're
trying to choose between two theories and one gives you an excuse
for being lazy, the other one is probably right.
Highlighted by eyalnow
If I had to go through high school again, I'd treat it like a day
job. I don't mean that I'd slack in school. Working at something
as a day job doesn't mean doing it badly. It means not being defined
by it. I mean I wouldn't think of myself as a high school student,
just as a musician with a day job as a waiter doesn't think of
himself as a waiter. [3] And when I wasn't working at my day job
I'd start trying to do real work.
Highlighted by joel
When I ask people what they regret most about high school, they
nearly all say the same thing: that they wasted so much time. If
you're wondering what you're doing now that you'll regret most
later, that's probably it. [4]
Highlighted by karmapolizier
I'm not saying you shouldn't hang out with your friends-- that you
should all become humorless little robots who do nothing but work.
Hanging out with friends is like chocolate cake. You enjoy it more
if you eat it occasionally than if you eat nothing but chocolate
cake for every meal. No matter how much you like chocolate cake,
you'll be pretty queasy after the third meal of it. And that's
what the malaise one feels in high school is: mental queasiness.
Highlighted by joel
Hanging out with friends is like chocolate cake. You enjoy it more
if you eat it occasionally than if you eat nothing but chocolate
cake for every meal. No matter how much you like chocolate cake,
you'll be pretty queasy after the third meal of it. And that's
what the malaise one feels in high school is: mental queasiness.
[5]
Highlighted by olebrudvik
Upwind
I think the solution is to work in the other direction. Instead of working back from a goal, work forward from promising situations. This is what most successful people actually do anyway.
I think the solution is to work in the other direction. Instead of working back from a goal, work forward from promising situations. This is what most successful people actually do anyway.
Highlighted by eyalnow
Upwind
I think the solution is to work in the other direction. Instead of working back from a goal, work forward from promising situations. This is what most successful people actually do anyway.
I think the solution is to work in the other direction. Instead of working back from a goal, work forward from promising situations. This is what most successful people actually do anyway.
Highlighted by eyalnow
Collecting donations
for a charity is an admirable thing to do, but it's not hard.
It's not getting something done. What I mean by getting something
done is learning how to write well, or how to program computers,
or what life was really like in preindustrial societies, or how to
draw the human face from life. This sort of thing rarely translates
into a line item on a college application.
Highlighted by joel
What I mean by getting something
done is learning how to write well, or how to program computers,
or what life was really like in preindustrial societies, or how to
draw the human face from life. This sort of thing rarely translates
into a line item on a college application.
Highlighted by olebrudvik
I propose instead that you don't commit to anything in the future,
but just look at the options available now, and choose those that
will give you the most promising range of options afterward.
Highlighted by eyalnow
Rebellion is almost as stupid as obedience. In either case you let
yourself be defined by what they tell you to do. The best plan, I
think, is to step onto an orthogonal vector. Don't just do what
they tell you, and don't just refuse to. Instead treat school as
a day job. As day jobs go, it's pretty sweet. You're done at 3
o'clock, and you can even work on your own stuff while you're there.
Highlighted by joel
Look for smart people
and hard problems. Smart people tend to clump together, and if you
can find such a clump, it's probably worthwhile to join it.
Highlighted by eyalnow
Kids are curious, but the curiosity I mean has a different shape from kid
curiosity. Kid curiosity is broad and shallow; they ask why at
random about everything. In most adults this curiosity dries up
entirely. It has to: you can't get anything done if you're always
asking why about everything. But in ambitious adults, instead of
drying up, curiosity becomes narrow and deep. The mud flat morphs
into a well.
Highlighted by joel
The word "aptitude" is misleading,
because it implies something innate. The most powerful sort of
aptitude is a consuming interest in some question, and such interests
are often acquired tastes.
Highlighted by karmapolizier
Now I know a number of people who do great work, and it's the same
with all of them. They have little discipline. They're all terrible
procrastinators and find it almost impossible to make themselves
do anything they're not interested in. One still hasn't sent out
his half of the thank-you notes from his wedding, four years ago.
Another has 26,000 emails in her inbox.
I'm not saying you can get away with zero self-discipline. You probably need about the amount you need to go running. I'm often reluctant to go running, but once I do, I enjoy it. And if I don't run for several days, I feel ill. It's the same with people who do great things. They know they'll feel bad if they don't work, and they have enough discipline to get themselves to their desks to start working. But once they get started, interest takes over, and discipline is no longer necessary.
I'm not saying you can get away with zero self-discipline. You probably need about the amount you need to go running. I'm often reluctant to go running, but once I do, I enjoy it. And if I don't run for several days, I feel ill. It's the same with people who do great things. They know they'll feel bad if they don't work, and they have enough discipline to get themselves to their desks to start working. But once they get started, interest takes over, and discipline is no longer necessary.
Highlighted by joel
One of the most dangerous illusions you get from school is the idea
that doing great things requires a lot of discipline. Most subjects
are taught in such a boring way that it's only by discipline that
you can flog yourself through them. So I was surprised when, early
in college, I read a quote by Wittgenstein saying that he had no
self-discipline and had never been able to deny himself anything,
not even a cup of coffee.
Highlighted by karmapolizier
If you want to do good work, what you need is a great curiosity
about a promising question. The critical moment for Einstein
was when he looked at Maxwell's equations and said, what the hell
is going on here?
It can take years to zero in on a productive question, because it can take years to figure out what a subject is really about. To take an extreme example, consider math. Most people think they hate math, but the boring stuff you do in school under the name "mathematics" is not at all like what mathematicians do.
It can take years to zero in on a productive question, because it can take years to figure out what a subject is really about. To take an extreme example, consider math. Most people think they hate math, but the boring stuff you do in school under the name "mathematics" is not at all like what mathematicians do.
Highlighted by joel
The best protection is always to be working on hard problems.
Writing novels is hard. Reading novels isn't.
Hard means worry: if you're not worrying that
something you're making will come out badly, or that you won't be
able to understand something you're studying, then it isn't hard
enough. There has to be suspense.
Highlighted by eyalnow
But once they get started, interest takes over,
and discipline is no longer necessary.
Highlighted by karmapolizier
If you want to do good work, what you need is a great curiosity
about a promising question.
Highlighted by karmapolizier
And not only in intellectual matters. Henry Ford's great question
was, why do cars have to be a luxury item? What would happen if
you treated them as a commodity? Franz Beckenbauer's was, in effect,
why does everyone have to stay in his position? Why can't defenders
score goals too?
Highlighted by joel
It can take years to zero in on a productive question, because it
can take years to figure out what a subject is really about.
Highlighted by karmapolizier
The way to get a big idea to appear in your head is not to hunt for
big ideas, but to put in a lot of time on work that interests you,
and in the process keep your mind open enough that a big idea can
take roost. Einstein, Ford, and Beckenbauer all used this recipe.
They all knew their work like a piano player knows the keys. So
when something seemed amiss to them, they had the confidence to
notice it.
Highlighted by joel
That's what you need to do: find a question that makes
the world interesting.
Highlighted by karmapolizier
f it takes years to articulate great questions, what do you do now,
at sixteen? Work toward finding one. Great questions don't appear
suddenly. They gradually congeal in your head. And what makes
them congeal is experience.
Highlighted by karmapolizier
but to put in a lot of time on work that interests you,
and in the process keep your mind open enough that a big idea can
take roost.
Highlighted by karmapolizier
it's by doing that you
learn.
Highlighted by joel
It's that adults take responsibility for
themselves. Making a living is only a small part of it.
Far more important is to take intellectual responsibility for oneself.
Highlighted by eyalnow
Don't disregard unseemly motivations. One of the most powerful is
the desire to be better than other people at something. Hardy said
that's what got him started, and I think the only unusual thing
about him is that he admitted it. Another powerful motivator is
the desire to do, or know, things you're not supposed to. Closely
related is the desire to do something audacious. Sixteen year olds
aren't supposed to write novels. So if you try, anything you achieve
is on the plus side of the ledger; if you fail utterly, you're doing
no worse than expectations. [8]
Highlighted by joel
Your life doesn't have to be shaped by admissions officers. It
could be shaped by your own curiosity. It is for all ambitious
adults. And you don't have to wait to start. In fact, you don't
have to wait to be an adult. There's no switch inside you that
magically flips when you turn a certain age or graduate from some
institution. You start being an adult when you decide to take
responsibility for your life. You can do that at any age.
Highlighted by joel
If you
think it's restrictive being a kid, imagine having kids.
Highlighted by frestelse
The only real difference between adults and high school kids is
that adults realize they need to get things done, and high school
kids don't. That realization hits most people around 23. But I'm
letting you in on the secret early. So get to work. Maybe you can
be the first generation whose greatest regret from high school isn't
how much time you wasted.
Highlighted by joel
The key to wasting time is distraction. Without distractions
it's too obvious to your brain that you're not doing anything with
it, and you start to feel uncomfortable. If you want to measure
how dependent you've become on distractions, try this experiment:
set aside a chunk of time on a weekend and sit alone and think.
You can have a notebook to write your thoughts down in, but nothing
else: no friends, TV, music, phone, IM, email, Web, games, books,
newspapers, or magazines. Within an hour most people will feel a
strong craving for distraction.
Highlighted by joel
That's what you need to do: find a question that makes
the world interesting. People who do great things look at the same
world everyone else does, but notice some odd detail that's
compellingly mysterious.
Highlighted by eyalnow
Now
If it takes years to articulate great questions, what do you do now, at sixteen? Work toward finding one. Great questions don't appear suddenly. They gradually congeal in your head. And what makes them congeal is experience.
If it takes years to articulate great questions, what do you do now, at sixteen? Work toward finding one. Great questions don't appear suddenly. They gradually congeal in your head. And what makes them congeal is experience.
Highlighted by eyalnow
The way to get a big idea to appear in your head is not to hunt for
big ideas, but to put in a lot of time on work that interests you,
and in the process keep your mind open enough that a big idea can
take roost.
Highlighted by eyalnow
Put in time how and on what? Just pick a project that seems
interesting: to master some chunk of material, or to make something,
or to answer some question. Choose a project that will take less
than a month, and make it something you have the means to finish.
Do something hard enough to stretch you, but only just, especially
at first. If you're deciding between two projects, choose whichever
seems most fun. If one blows up in your face, start another. Repeat
till, like an internal combustion engine, the process becomes
self-sustaining, and each project generates the next one. (This
could take years.)
Highlighted by eyalnow
Put in time how and on what? Just pick a project that seems
interesting: to master some chunk of material, or to make something,
or to answer some question. Choose a project that will take less
than a month, and make it something you have the means to finish.
Do something hard enough to stretch you, but only just, especially
at first. If you're deciding between two projects, choose whichever
seems most fun. If one blows up in your face, start another. Repeat
till, like an internal combustion engine, the process becomes
self-sustaining, and each project generates the next one. (This
could take years.)
Highlighted by eyalnow
Don't worry if a project doesn't seem to be on the path to some
goal you're supposed to have. Paths can bend a lot more than you
think. So let the path grow out the project. The most important
thing is to be excited about it, because it's by doing that you
learn.
Highlighted by eyalnow
Don't disregard unseemly motivations. One of the most powerful is
the desire to be better than other people at something.
Highlighted by eyalnow
Another powerful motivator is
the desire to do, or know, things you're not supposed to. Closely
related is the desire to do something audacious.
Highlighted by eyalnow
Beware of bad models. Especially when they excuse laziness.
Highlighted by eyalnow
The important thing is to get out there and do stuff. Instead of
waiting to be taught, go out and learn.
Highlighted by eyalnow
You start being an adult when you decide to take
responsibility for your life. You can do that at any age.
Highlighted by eyalnow
The key to wasting time is distraction. Without distractions
it's too obvious to your brain that you're not doing anything with
it, and you start to feel uncomfortable. If you want to measure
how dependent you've become on distractions, try this experiment:
set aside a chunk of time on a weekend and sit alone and think.
You can have a notebook to write your thoughts down in, but nothing
else: no friends, TV, music, phone, IM, email, Web, games, books,
newspapers, or magazines. Within an hour most people will feel a
strong craving for distraction.
Highlighted by eyalnow
Public Comment
on 2006-08-03 by bconnelly
on 2006-11-18 by alexko