ReviewJournal.com - Living - HUMAN MATTERS: Living authentica...

When I was asked to resign as basketball coach at my son's school because a boy -- his parents, actually -- suggested I had a prurient interest in the rebounding drill, and when my bishop, already predisposed to antagonism toward me, decided to "investigate" the claim, well, I was deeply invested in my reputation. This is the sort of accusation that can permanently damage my ability to make a living, even when swiftly exonerated, which I was.

So, in cases of egregious slander, yes, I really care about my reputation.

There is a short list of folks in my inner circle with whom I care greatly about my reputation. My children top that list. My best friend, Paul. A former graduate school professor. Erin. Kim. There are a few more, but the list is surprisingly short.

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what my general reputation is

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You know, Steven, I think people really see you as ..." I'm often intrigued, surprised, even startled, whether the sentence ends in something positive or negative

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I have lots of reputations, good and bad

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My favorite Aesop's fable is about a father and son leading a donkey. They overhear the criticism, "Why waste a donkey; someone should ride it." So the son rides, and the next criticism is, "Lazy boy! Making his father walk!" So they switch places. Sure enough: "Despicable father! Forcing his son to walk!" They both get on the donkey. "How cruel to so burden the poor beast in the hot sun!" So the father and son resolve to carry the donkey, who bucks and kicks in terror, falls off the bridge into the river and drowns.

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How do I shape, manage and protect my reputation? Largely by not aiming at my reputation! My goal, rather, is authenticity. I strive to live authentically. Or, as author Richard Bach says it, "Live never to be ashamed if anything you say or do is published around the world, even if what is said is not true."

Live authentically. Live with integrity.

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